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The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

 So I’m still working my way through these supposed life changing books mentioned in my previous post here. But quite frankly, I feel no more enlightened or thought provoked than before I purchased them. Will Smith could not praise this book enough, yet the vast majority of reviews I’m finding now are scathing and full of contempt.


Amanda rated it 1 star:

I'm not sure that I can capture my utter disdain for this book in words, but I'll give it a shot. I read this book about three years ago and just had to re-read it for book club. It was a steaming pile of crap then and, guess what?, it's a steaming pile of crap now. The main reason I hate this book: it's trite inspirational literature dressed up as an adventure quest. You go into it thinking that it's going to be about a boy's quest for treasure. If you read the back, there are words like "Pyramids," "Gypsy," "alchemist." Turns out, this is just The Purpose Driven Lifedressed up with a little fable. It's Hallmark Hall of Fame territory set in an exotic locale. Which pisses me off to no end as I normally try to dodge that sort of thing, but here it is masquerading as the type of book I normally like. It's cliche, didactic, and poorly written. 

Just as with Aesop's Fables, there's a moral to the story. And Coelho keeps backing up and running over it just to make sure that we get it (and he capitalizes important key words necessary to understanding it, lest we overlook their significance). If there's one thing Paulo Coelho can do, it's flog a dead horse. 

Essentially, boy thinks he's happy in life. He's a shepherd who gets to travel the world, has all of his needs met, and owns a book which he can always trade for another book when he goes to market. What more can a boy need? Boy is then told by a mysterious stranger that he's not happy at all. Why not? He has failed to recognize his Personal Legend. Everyone has a Personal Legend, which is life's plan for you. However, most of us give up on our Personal Legend in childhood. If you are fortunate enough to hang onto and pursue your Personal Legend, then The Soul of the World will help you obtain it. All of nature conspires to bring you luck and good fortune so that you can fulfill your destiny, whether it's to be a shepherd on a quest for treasure at the pyramids, a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker, or, one would assume, a prostitute, drug dealer, or porn star. Hey, we're all fate's bitch in The Alchemist. But I digress. Boy seeks out his Personal Legend and finds it's a long, hard road to obtaining what you want in life. But with faith, perseverance, and just a little goshdarnit good luck, the boy learns to speak the Language of the World and tap into The Soul of the World and fulfills his Personal Legend. And what does he learn? That what he sought was back home, the place he started from. Oh, silly boy. 

So, in summation, here is what you should learn from The Alchemist:

1) Dream. And, while you're at it, dream BIG
2) Follow your bliss
3) Don't be surprised if you find obstacles in your way, but you will overcome
4) It's good to travel and encounter people from other cultures
5) What we most often seek is right in front of us, but sometimes we have to leave home to realize it

To all of these important life lessons, I can only say, "Well, no shit, Sherlock." If Coelho knew anything about alchemy, he would have been able to transform this crap into gold. Alas, it's still crap.


Lisa also rated it 1 star:

Homework for "Introductory Course For Irony Disposal And Sarcasm Removal (ICFIDASR)", lesson one, re-submission number 47.

I once read a book that inspired me to change my whole attitude towards reading. It was a medicine of universal, cosmic impact. Before, I had thought that books existed to enrich me, giving me knowledge, pleasure and understanding. 

After reading the introductory pages of this "enchanting novel" however, I learned that more wisdom can be gained from the companionship of sheep than from books, as stated by the wise young protagonist, a shepherd who uses books for a pillow and sheep for dialogue partners (it is a one-way road, with the sheep as teachers, for the sheep don't learn anything from him). In simple, unsophisticated prose, which seems to be carefully following the rubric of a Grade 6 descriptive writing assignment, I read:

"The only things that concerned the sheep were food and water. As long as the boy knew how to find the best pastures in Andalusia, they would be his friends. Yes, their days were all the same, with the seemingly endless hours between sunrise and dusk; and they had never read a book in their young lives, and didn't understand when the boy told them about the sights of the cities. They were content with just food and water, and, in exchange, they generously gave of their wool, their company, and - once in a while - their meat."

Learning to take everything literally is part of my course, so I try not to see a metaphor in the fact that the boy learns more from sheep than from books. But I do have a question or two:

If the sheep are only his"friends" as long as he brings them food, do they really count as friends? Are they not just following their needs?

Is it not quite self-evident that they have not read any books in their young lives - they are sheep after all, and won't read in their old age either, I assume?

Do they really "generously offer their wool, their company, and -ONCE IN A WHILE - their meat? At least as far as the meat is concerned, I am sure they offer it once, and not again, and not by free choice, and generously?

As this book is to be taken seriously, I beg to accept my apology if my questions sound like sarcasm. That is not my intention. I am really just asking "all universe to conspire to help me achieve my goal" (another piece of wisdom the book offers) - of understanding how anyone can take this seriously! I just wonder how all universe deals with opposing wishes, which must occasionally occur, even in a small place like our earth. If I for example wish to have my neighbour's garden chair, and my neighbour wishes to keep it, who does "all universe" side with, and how does it conspire to help me get it, and at the same time to help my neighbour to keep it?

Things that happen once can never happen again, I also learn. Before I can even ask why, I get another piece of information: Things that happen twice will always happen again. How does that go together? If things have happened once (which is a prerequisite for happening twice in my world) they won't happen again?!? Whatever is meant, things can NEVER happen twice, that is sure. I can't travel to Italy twice. If I do it anyway (which is not possible) I will definitively do it again. That is nice!

When I do travel to Italy (once, or three times), my life and my path will always provide me with enough omens. That is interesting, and I do not know why I all of a sudden associate this with the sheepish followers in Life Of Brian, who found omens in sandals.

Call me literal-minded, but I do have some issues with the idea of omen provision. Can I order them online nowadays? What do they cost? 

To close my reflection on learning more from sheep than books, I have to say: In some cases, that is very true! What a bitter medicine!

As with all medicines, there are some side effects, and it is very important to read the warning before you take this drug:

Please do not read this book if you are in danger of thinking too rationally. 

When you read this Grade 6 essay, be careful to check if you show behaviours that you would define as out of character, as they might be symptoms of acute drivel reading allergy. 

Symptoms include: anger, frustration, ridicule, frowning, nausea, meaningless giggling, dreams about book burning, urge to throw the book in the bin or out the window. Symptoms may vary, but in all cases, it is recommended to suspend reading until the brain is reset in adequate sheep mode again. 

If symptoms do not diminish after enjoying a couple of good, real books, please see your librarian for memory removal surgery or therapy.


Cecily rated it 1 star:

Superficially deep (ie deep on the surface and shallow underneath), but actually rather pretentious new age waffle - yet somehow manages to be beautiful despite that. I would have enjoyed it in my late teens/early 20s (when I enjoyed Jonathan Livingston Seagull), but reading this as an adult, I found it annoyingly unsubtle.

Reading, and disliking this, was something of a watershed: a few years earlier and I'd probably have loved it, but as it was, I realised I'd turned into a cynical adult (and I know where I get that from!)


Don rated it 1 star:

I simply could not finish this book. I got halfway through it only to wind up on goodreads.com to see what others thought. I simply felt guilty panning a book that has received such global acclaim; more than that, I felt lame and inadequate.

Well, it turns out that my sentiments were echoed. I basically felt I was reading an overblown parable and that the same lessons were being spelled out again and again. It was like the 16th verse of a hymn. 

Throughout my life I have periodically reflected to get a sense of who I am, where I am going and whether I want to end up there. I am an extremely introspective person and I am constantly evaluating and re-evaluating my person; sometimes for the better, sometimes out of necessity. To put a fine point on it, I regularly do that which is, for lack of a better word, preached in this book. The problem I had with The Alchemist is that instead of feeling reinforced and validated, I felt uncomfortable and nagged.

There are literally thousands and thousands of these kind of reviews… do they have it wrong?

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